Choices surround me. There is no easy way out. I need to pick a side, choose a path, go in some direction and I can't! I can't abdicate from the other one! Shit! When your heart is fighting your common sense which one do you think is going to win? The heart wins all the time. At least with me. But... but and then? What will I see in her eyes? Tears? Disappointment? Sadness? Anger? I know it's all my fault but what, really, can I do? It was never my decision. It was never my choice. Fate picked us. Destiny joined us. You can't fight it, nobody can. Just... just learn to live with it. I need both sides. Let me enjoy this crazy and unexpected thing that appeared in front of me and please, pretty please, don't try to steal my smile because, just like before, you'll end up loosing dear...
I'm not cheesy. I'm not sentimental. I don't put myself out there. I don't let everyone inside. I don't give my soul to the world. I'm not dependable. I'm not jealous. I'm not insecure. I never feel the need to give names to relationships, or to be exclusive, or to belong to someone! But with you, with you nothing is as it was before. You make me feel wonderfully cheesy, over sentimental and awkwardly dependable. I'm totally out there with you, I couldn't let you be more inside than you already are, you carry my soul on your right pocket. I'm jealous all the time, because you make me feel insecure. Our relationship has a name and I felt the need to have it. I'm exclusively yours and I sure belong to you. Love is a funny thing isn't it?
Candles? Check. Girl upset in the bathroom? Check. Ring? Check. Boy on his knees? Check. Beautiful music playing so she never forgets that moment? Check. "Honey, come on out. Just for a second". Surprise? Check. Smile? Check. Joy? Check. Girl says "yes" with tears on her eyes? Check. Mission accomplished :)
You make me feel so much at home... You embrace me with your arms, protect me from the truth and reality and carry me to a world of dreams from which I don't want to get out! Oh love, you take my hand every time, turn out the light and sing me to sleep. I dream of you and we are never apart from each other. My home, is where your heart is, sweety.
Since the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew something was wrong with you. You were way too perfect, way too luminous, and I was way too attracted. Time stopped. When I found you in her arms, something died, don't know what or why. But it was a mixture of hope and future. But then, little by little, we started to loose control. We couldn't fight it anymore. Little by little we ignored walls and barriers, we turned our faces to obstacles and rules, we reinvent ourselves. We found out the most amazing true, without even look for it. We found that we are meant to be...
... soulmates, baby. Every single piece of you, found a little piece in me where to fit. Every little single thing you do just to make me smile believe that makes a lot more than that. Makes me glow. From the inside out. I'm not that good in showing how grateful I am, but I'm great writing it. In spite of all the consequences, in spite of all these things we have to deal with, I'm with you. I'm yours. You can trust me your life because I do not intend to turn you down. I'll make everything I can to make you as happy as you made me in these last few days.
You have no idea. Don't make that unless you know what your doing. You are giving me dreams and thoughts to think about and that, my love, that is dangerous, for me. I can't fall in love with you, that's for sure. You better stop those perfectly amazing things you do, unless you know what you are signing for. I can not compete with you. So I'm not even trying. But stop making my dreams come true, unless you intend to keep on doing that for a while.
Everything spins and twists around me. Nothing seems to be right, nothing gives me the wings that I need to fly. I want to brake the chains that are attaching me to the ground but chances seem to be rare around here. He's wrong, yet so strong, spinning around with my tongue. Can't say no to him, can't breathe at all. I will loose this game. I will loose this game.
I can feel my wings being ripped apart when you walk away. You became an addiction, you are my contradiction, nothing but fiction. I have a machine inside my chest, and every two seconds it beeps, and some people call it heart. You turned it in a simple mechanism that make me alive against my will.
You are my cause of death, angel. You turned me into a broken one.
I purely and simply love you. I don't have anything else to say. And even this little three words I can't say out loud. Nothing is pure and simple anymore. As you grow up, things get difficult and complex and, above all, things get stupidly hard to say and do. One day, honey. One day...
Era uma vez um menino e uma menina. Ele era tímido e trapalhão e ela era despachada e respondona. Conheciam-se desde sempre. Viviam um ao lado do outro. Ele ensinou-a desde cedo a ter juízo e ela ensinou-o a divertir-se. Quando ele fez oito anos, os pais decidiram mudar-se para o estrangeiro. Ambos choraram e escreveram os seus nomes numa árvore, jurando casar quando tivessem idade para isso. O menino deu-se tão mal com a mudança que cinco anos depois eles estavam de volta. Ele tinha treze e ela onze. O menino correu para a cerca que separava a sua antiga casa da casa da menina. A menina viu aquele rosto que já se encontrava meio difuso na sua memória e correu, também ela, na direcção da cerca. E assim, naquele reencontro, trocaram o primeiro beijo. O menino não voltou a mudar de casa. A menina mudou-se para a casa do menino dez anos mais tarde. Não tiveram mais ninguém. Tiveram cinco filhos, todos loirinhos. O menino e a menina ficaram juntos para sempre, ultrapassaram juntos bons e maus momentos. Ele foi para a guerra e voltou da guerra são e salvo. Com ajuda dela ultrapassou os traumas que para lá adquiriu. Juntos, envelheceram. Viram o Mundo e com os seus cinco filhos viram o mundo acontecer diante dos seus olhos. Um dia o menino partiu. Era a altura de ele ir dali para um sítio desconhecido. Antes de fechar os olhos ele disse à menina: “fico à tua espera, meu amor”.
Esta história não aconteceu, mas era este o conto de fadas que eu queria.
I learned to trust fate. Some people trust God, I trust fate. I always believed everything happened for a reason, even if i couldn't see any at first. In my eighteen years of living, a lot of things happen for which I still have no reason, but I'm sure I'll find some. I still don't know why my brother is away from me, but I'm sure I will find a reason. I still don't know why I have a mother like mine, but I'm sure there is a reason. I trust fate have a lot of reasons to make this things happen to me. Today something will change. Maybe it is for the best... I don't know. What I do know is that, whatever happens, there's a reason for it to happen so I will accept it. A little part of me want to be old and wise, to look at the past and find a reason to every single thing that happened. One day, I will.
I don't know if I'm in love. I know just a few things about me and my life right now. I'm not the one telling or writing the story. I'm more of a spectator. I do not control the smiles or the tears I share with you and with the world. I'm just a watcher. I don't know the reasons or the ways, I don't know my or your name. I don't know how to fake a feeling so this must be true. I guess I'm falling for you. I do know it, don't I? I knew it would eventually happen from the first time I laid eyes on you. I knew you would be the end of a lot of things and the beginning of some other. I knew you would build and destroy everything around me. I knew you would change everything. So, I must have known I was already falling for you, right? Life never takes something for you, without giving something better in return. I just had to wait, and look what I got!
I met this boy. He is no different from another boys. He likes sports, girls and his friends. He can't sing, or cook, or be still for one whole minute. He is a dreamer, a talker, a fighter. He is smart, funny and charming. He speaks three languages, loves to sleep and has two dogs. Hates cats. He is an ordinary boy with an unusual effect in me: He makes me smile.
maybe, it was all a dream. maybe i am already grown up and have no silly things left to do. maybe i am not a child anymore and maybe i have to put my childish thoughts aside. maybe my life must be lived in a different way now that my age reached eighteen. but maybe... maybe i don't have to quit being a dreamer.